Where I See Cordy in Five Years

Okay, like probably about a million other people, I was disappointed to read that Cordy was fictional and her story was over. (Click here for the deets on Cordy's story. Click here for the deets on the reveal.) Some had already guessed, and I admit I wondered a few times myself, but I blocked those thoughts and went with the assumption that she was real.

So instead of being mad (because I too sent an email to Cordy, which in hind sight made me feel kind of stupid), I decided that I just had to laugh. No other feelings were going to be productive for me.

And then this morning, I started thinking.....what would Cordy's life be like in five years? Here's what I came up with. This is just for fun and I figured I and a few others could get a laugh out of it and ease the disappointment of yesterday.

Five years down the road, Cordy thinks her life is CRAP! That's right, CRAP! Her 4 year old just pooped and wiped herself. And while Cordy is grateful that she is so independent, she's less than thrilled that her daughter's counting skills are still developing. So instead of counting out so many squares of toilet paper to get the job done, she used half a roll of toilet paper. Yes, that's right, HALF A ROLL of TP. So then Cordy had to clean all that toilet paper out of the toilet (while the poop was still in there, of course). And while she was so diligently engaged in bringing cleanliness to her house again, her 2 year old was sitting on her knees, reading the children's book that Cordy had written and gotten published. While that was a righteous endeavor, her feet were under her bottom. Which was covered in a diaper. Full of poop. That leaked. Because Cordy wasn't able to promptly change her because she was up to her elbows in wet toilet paper. So then, her 2 year old walked around the house (like in Family Circus) and tracked poop all over the house. Yet another poop mess for Cordy to clean. Then to top it all off, Cordy is pregnant again. BIG pregnant. Like, ready to POP. And she's a little stopped up.

Cordy remembers how life was five years ago and wonders how she got to this point. A life full of POOP. CRAP. DOO DOO. She turns on her computer and starts reading Mommy Blogs. Cuz don't we all need an escape sometimes?



How'd you like my "crappy" post? Oh, COME ON!!!! Like we haven't all been there!!!!!!!